Change

I know, I know...it's been over two months since I last posted. But I've been busy.


In mid June I accepted a new job. This new position took me away from the city and job I had been in for 4 years. It was a huge switch for me, leaving the home that I had built, the friends I had made, the people who had become family.

It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. So many things were changing in my life and with my family and I needed to do this for me. I still think about that decision today actually. I still get upset knowing what I left behind and while I'm happy that I am at my new job, it's hard being the 'newbie' and having to start over...again.

I feel like I've moved so much in my life already and to do it again, hurt actually. I was going home, I would going to be closer to my parents, which was important for me, but to physically uproot myself, even for a place that I was familiar with, was difficult.

People were upset with my decision. Some mad, even if for only a little while, they were still mad. Some sad, because me leaving hurt them. Some happy, for me and for my chance to go home. I was feeling the same emotions too, for similar reasons and different, all at the same time.


Anyway...change was hard. But change was needed. I've been back in Dallas for 5 weeks now and I am getting back into a routine. I've been able to reconnect with old friends, though not much. I live in a cool area of the city, though I haven't experienced much of it. It's kind of work and dog, dog and work. Now there is a kitten in the equation, though he is going to another home soon.

I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss a job I used to have and a city I used to live in. I miss the routine I once had and the comfortable feeling of knowing what I was doing when I was doing it.


Starting over is difficult. But sometimes, starting over is necessary.


I don't really want to do it again though.

Time to Start Over

So...I have come to a crossroad in my life and I have to figure out how to get through it.

I sit here at my computer tonight thinking on how to move forward and appropriately for myself at this moment. I have come to a few conclusions:

1) I start training harder for my marathon in October. The training has seriously been slacking recently, but that's not the reason for this decision. I am going to train harder for myself as a goal to to say 'I can do it', 'I did it' and 'this is for me and no one else'. I need something else to focus on and I need a goal in my life right now and this is a tangible one.

2) I focus on work more and being the best I can be. It doesn't matter if its my current job or a job I may have down the road. This isn't so much for my work ethic, but more for a focal point that I can be sure to hone in on when times get tough. This could be a point of contention seeing as my work isn't always stress-free, but I can throw myself into it as best I can and hope I come out with my head above water.

3) I take time for myself. I love my friends and my family, but I need time for me now. I need to be there for myself and take the time to do what's best for me. That means some quality alone time scattered throughout this summer particularly.

I can and will do this. I know I can. I will need support from time to time and I know that I will have it when I need it, but there comes a point in one's life when sometimes, you have to do things for yourself...by yourself.

To anyone who is reading this...Happy (early) Fourth of July. I hope it may be happy and festive!