Change

I know, I know...it's been over two months since I last posted. But I've been busy.


In mid June I accepted a new job. This new position took me away from the city and job I had been in for 4 years. It was a huge switch for me, leaving the home that I had built, the friends I had made, the people who had become family.

It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. So many things were changing in my life and with my family and I needed to do this for me. I still think about that decision today actually. I still get upset knowing what I left behind and while I'm happy that I am at my new job, it's hard being the 'newbie' and having to start over...again.

I feel like I've moved so much in my life already and to do it again, hurt actually. I was going home, I would going to be closer to my parents, which was important for me, but to physically uproot myself, even for a place that I was familiar with, was difficult.

People were upset with my decision. Some mad, even if for only a little while, they were still mad. Some sad, because me leaving hurt them. Some happy, for me and for my chance to go home. I was feeling the same emotions too, for similar reasons and different, all at the same time.


Anyway...change was hard. But change was needed. I've been back in Dallas for 5 weeks now and I am getting back into a routine. I've been able to reconnect with old friends, though not much. I live in a cool area of the city, though I haven't experienced much of it. It's kind of work and dog, dog and work. Now there is a kitten in the equation, though he is going to another home soon.

I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss a job I used to have and a city I used to live in. I miss the routine I once had and the comfortable feeling of knowing what I was doing when I was doing it.


Starting over is difficult. But sometimes, starting over is necessary.


I don't really want to do it again though.