Things That Irk Me

There are many things that I find frustrating...

1) Winter rains
2) Predictable plot lines in movies
3) Losing board games (or any kind of game, for that matter)

...just to name a few.

But one of the most annoying, frustrating and disheartening things...is not being trusted, not being believed.

I am the first one to admit that I am probably one of the clumsiest people on the planet. I can manage to twist my ankle, bang my knee, bump my head and get a paper cut all at the same time. In the last calendar year, I have been to the ER twice, and the doctor/walk-in clinic quite a bit, all for a varying array of things.

I recently suffered a fall, one that resulted in a severe sprained ankle. The worst thing about it was not the fall itself, though it did hurt like hell. It wasn't the fact that I had to be on restrictive duty at work, though that was annoying as hell. It was the fact that some people actually believed that I did it on purpose.

If you think that you can throw yourself down a flight of stairs without question, then yes, you could do something like this on purpose. If you think you can do this while someone you care about is watching and not feel any guilt, than yes, you could do something like this on purpose. If you like the feeling of pain, then yes, you could do something like this on purpose.

I'm actually very apprehensive about stairs at the moment because of what happened, even though I just missed one step. I had my best friend with me and the last thing I want is for him to see me get hurt because he goes into over-protective/panic mode and as endearing as that is, I still don't want him to worry. And I can't stand the idea of pain, much less being in it.

So, yes...I MUST have done this on purpose.

If you were there, then you can judge me. If you were there, then you would have seen the massive amount of tears that streaked down my face. If you were there, you would have seen how I tried to continue on with what I was doing, despite the amount of pain I was in. If you were there, you would have seen the swelling that occurred.

But only one of you was there, and he is the only one who can judge.

I hate the loss of Independence. Its annoying...and being told that you have to restrict yourself is one of the worst things to someone like me. Sure, its nice not having to do some of the things I do, but only if its by choice, not by regulation. And if you think that it was all wine and roses, that not having to do all of my job was the most magnificent and relaxing thing, think again. I had to do a lot of things that aren't a part of my job description because I was trying to help where I could, and that was at a desk. It wasn't just sitting there and doing nothing...

It is amazing though, to see who shows concern and who doesn't care; to see who actually asks about your well-being and who can't be bothered by it. And its amazing to see who could actually think that you would do something like this on purpose.

For those of you like that, I hope one day you are in my position and you see how it feels to have something happen to you against your wishes and watch as the people you thought cared about you, judge you and show very little compassion.

What goes around, comes around...just remember that.


Thank you for allowing my venting session.